A Life Without You

A Series Of Poems

A Poem By: Martina Garcia

shower thoughts


now i sit on our shower floor

the water is so hot i cannot breathe.

i cannot tell if the water is dripping down my face or if it is my own tears, maybe both.

i scream about how i cannot handle this world

i hold my face as i realize how bad i am getting

i think about how Rupi shares how woman are powerful and can overcome anything, about how Neil welcomes his depression as a friend because it is simply apart of him, but when i write i share my loneliness.

i am nothing more than loneliness.

it has consumed every part of me.

this is not a suicide note

this is not a cry for help

this is simply a letter to the universe, to say i am not okay

to press pause on my life so i can catch up

they say being a writer is painful

but for once i would love to not ruin everything i touch

it makes my writing worth reading, but it tears me down each time


another poem, another person ruined, another shower full of tears